Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance: Twisted!
by Enno
Summary: A retelling of Fire Embelm PoR with added humor and dialogue! Contains SPOILERS for the game of course. Just started! Rated M for language and other stuff.
1. Prologue

Prologue

A quick note. Hello, I'm Enno, a new user here on Fanfiction. This is also my first fanfiction. Fire Emblem Path of Radiance: Twisted! is a retelling of the classic story, but with humor added and changes. This is for mature audiences because of swearing and other stuff. The prologue is kinda boring but it will get better. Enjoy.

Ike and his father Greil are battling in a green forest with practice swords

Ike: Urgh! Attempts to hit Greil but misses

Greil hits Ike

Greil: Well Ike? You had enough?

Ike's sister Mist comes running toward them

Mist: Daaaaaad! Iiiiiiiiike!

Greil: Oh, Mist!

Greil looks away and Ike attempts to hit him in the back but Greil dodges

Ike: Hey!

Greil: Look Ike! A car!

Ike: WHERE?

Ike looks away and is hit in the back by Greil

Ike is knocked out.

Greil: Dumbass! Cars haven't been invented yet!

Mist: Oh noes!

Ike dreams of his deceased Mother singing a lullaby to him and wakes up

Ike: Urg…What happened?...

Mist: Dad beat you. Again.

Ike: Bad luck! I'll fight him again!

Greil: So you're ready Ike? Good let's go!

Boyd comes running towards Greil

Boyd: Hey boss! Titania sent me to tell you that your soaps are on!

Greil: My soaps! Yay! Jake marries Rachel in this one! It's the season finale! Ike, we'll have to continue this later. Fight Boyd. Mist, you referee.

Ike: Boyd? Boyd sucks ass!

Boyd: Watch it bitch face!

Ike: Fine! It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!

Mist: You can take Boyd, Ike! He's got nothing!

Boyd: Nothing? NOTHING? Oh yeah, I scored a 2 pointer on a ring the bell game yesterday! How's that?

Mist: The one down the road? I won that two times already.

Boyd: Wha-

Ike hits Boyd

Ike: I win!

Boyd: No! That didn't count! I wasn't ready!

Ike: Miiiiiiist! Boyd is a cheateeeeeeeeeeeer!

Mist: Ike wins final judgement.

Boyd: God dammit!

Greil: That was a good episode…Hey! Who won?

Ike: I did! Can I join the mercenaries now?

Greil: K. Your first mission is tomorrow. Be ready.

Ike: Hooray!

end prologue


	2. Chapter 1: The First Fight

Chapter 1: The First Fight

: Ike! Ike wake up!

Ike: Urgh… 5 more minutes…

: WAKE UP! stab

Ike: OW! WHAT THE- Oh Oscar, it's you. 'Sup?

Oscar: It's your first day as a Greil mercenary. C'mon!

Ike: Oh, right!

Ike and Oscar rush to the main room of their fort

Titania: It's about time you boys got here. Today we've been hired to take out bandits in a village near here.

Boyd: Bandits? Pah, I can handle more than that! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em!

Titania: Shut up Boyd. Let's go. The faster, the better.

Ike and company rush to a high cliff above the sea

Ike: Nice view.

Titania: Alright kids. rolls out a white billboard which you can use to draw stuff on with markers Here's the plan.

LEADER

bad guys

/ \

HOUSE

oo

oo

Titania: Boyd, Oscar, and I will rush out and defeat the enemies before they can react. Ike, you watch.

Ike: Watch? But I wanna fight!

Boyd: laughs Ike, you are such a n00b. Gimme that marker.

Me

Other guys

You

Boyd: As you can see, you're FAR behind.

Ike: Screw you. This guide says I have the best growth rates since Sigurd!

Boyd: I don't know what the hell a Sigurd is but warriors don't read books stupid! Gimme that! Hmmm…Nintendo Power Player guide….GHEY

Ike: You don't know anything dumbass!

Boyd: At least I know how to fight!

Ike: Bitch!

Boyd: Asshole!

Ike: GOOBER!

Boyd: GASP YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Ike: No. :)

Oscar: (What fools. When they're not looking I'll dash out of here and find some real fighters).

Titania: Both of you shut up! Ike take out that enemy by the cliff.

Ike: Yes ma'am.

Ike goes over to fighter and draws his sword

Enemy: Hah! This'll be easy!

Enemy dodges and Ike gets closer and pushes enemy off the cliff

Enemy: AUGH!

Ike: I win!

Leader: What was that? Mercenaries! Curses!

Oscar: All that's left is the boss…

Boyd: Ok, ok, you guys. I know how to do this!

Boyd rushes up to boss

Boss: Who are you supposed to be?

Boyd: I'm Boyd! Number one! The best! Mr.Strongma-

boss kills boyd

Boyd: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Oscar: Oh my god! He killed Boyd!

Ike: You baaaugh I never liked him much anyway.

Titania rides up and kills boss

Titania: This mission is over! We won!

Ike: Woo-hoo!

Titania: You did excellent Ike. Prepare yourselves for tomorrow.

Ike: Ok! I'm tired.

End Chapter 1


End file.
